Reposted from Masculine of Center.
Reposted from I Dream of Dapper
As a very narrow boi, it is almost impossible to find shirts and suit jackets that fit me. This is the only, literally the ONLY place I have ever found that works. They have a “super skinny” style and carry XXS! My entire work/interview/date-night wardrobe is from them. Their stuff is very cute too. Though, I can only vouch for their formal wear, not sure about casual fit.
I’m an early-30s gender-queer trying to figure out how to “grow up” in a world where all physical signs and indications of being an adult seem to require fitting into the gender binary. Androgyny, depending on the place and time you grew up, may have had a place but it always seems end with puberty- leaving many of us stuck in perpetual peter-pan syndrome. There are many things I love about being youthful and I never want to give up “playing” and engaging with nature and using my body to express myself as children often do… but I also want my views and ideas to be taken seriously, I want to enjoy adult sexuality, and I want to feel confidant and comfortable in a business setting. These things have all been difficult to navigate with my gender expression. I’m grateful for this site and people in my community who are talking about related issues- helping me feel less alone.
I have lived in the bay since 2007 and hope to make my home here for a long time. As of Fall 2013, I’m excited to have begun my adventure in graduate school. Yet another game in growing up.
‘Looking professional’ is a phrase that never fails to set my teeth on edge. ‘Workwear’, ‘office attire’, or ‘formal dress’ are some of the most binarist categories of clothing, and they just don’t work for me because of that.
People who code or are read as female, for instance, are often pressured to present as femme in order to present as formal. (h/t to Emma for this gorgeous phrasing) In this post, some of the Genderplayful team members weigh in on this aspect of workwear binaries.
There is an expectation, a demand, that working women dress fashionably. Not necessarily at the height of fashion, as runway looks wouldn’t be, as they say, work appropriate, but certainly neatly, elegantly. Dress codes are a snarled tangle to navigate when you’re supposed to be demure, but not drab, neat, but not flashy.
Whenever I have to dress up for a new setting – say an office job, or a formal presentation, or a dinner event – I become even more critical of my wardrobe. I am not a very femme person; I have some heels, some skirts, some dresses, and I wouldn’t have got them if I didn’t like them, but to present so explicitly as femme is a choice that I have to deliberate over, to be comfortable with. Continue reading