Rockin’ transmasculine/genderqueer clothes! Pricey, but deliciously adorable.
I have discovered the joy of wearing ballet flats. I’m a guy and I tried flats for the first time about 8 years ago, but in the interim more flats have been made that fit me (size 10 mens = 11.5-12 womens). I live where it’s hot and sandals aren’t all that practical all the time but flats provide foot coverage and a very comfortable environment. Easy to slip on and off and look great. Sadly, men haven’t adopted them, but I did talk to the people at Corso Como and they make the larger sizes in their flats knowing that some of them are sold to guys.
I have also had success at Barefoot Tess, DSW, eBay, Amazon and a couple other vendors. I now have about 25 pairs and wear them out about at least once a week…. sometimes more. Hardly anyone ever notices, but when they do it’s 95% positive. I dress like a guy in all other respects but have found I love wearing flats.
The one thing that’s really helped me grasp that I’m nonbinary has been skirts, oddly enough. If they’re pressed on me Because Girl, the results are just miserable all around, but discovering that they’re actually pretty cool if I approach them from an angle of Because Human And Why Not made it clear that Girl is a bad angle for me and Human And Why Not is a much better one.
I’m still annoyed at how hard it is to make skirt-wearing look as subversive as it feels, though.
When I first wore a victorian-esque blouse at the same time as a binder, I finally realized what I truly wanted to look like. Not fem, not butch, but taking aspects of both for my self-image.
It’s funny… the more “pretty” or “feminine” I dress, the more boyish or masculine I feel. I love wearing my binder and packer with my prettiest of dresses, and using makeup to make my face look more androgynous.
I got this outfit from H&M that made me feel like a rockstar. Shiny biker-esque jacket, various t-shirts (including a white & blue stripe as well as a cat shirt), black sparkly jeans, black belt with metal addons. ZOMG. Finally my inner rockstar has a way to express herself.
Those baggy, khaki shorts.
When I went to the store, pretty much my biggest (and I had thought, up until then, irrational) fear about shopping on the side marked “Men’s”, was realised. Basically, a very rude sales clerk kept mentioning that I was on the “Guys’s side”. It went WAY beyond simply letting me know (the store wasn’t very well divided so I suppose some people might have wanted to know). Despite that, I bought the shorts. And for the 5 minutes before they disintegrated simply from putting them in the washing machine, I was in heaven.
I won’t go back to that store due in part to his trans/genderqueerphobia but also due to the crappy clothes, but none of this is as important as what happened psychologically for me that day.
I walked the other side of the store. My worst fear (okay, second worst to my parents seeing me there) about it actually happened. And I survived. Came out better, stronger, happier. My WORST fear happened and my biggest thought was “what a jerk and isn’t it sad that he lives in such a colourless, binary world?”
Buying those shorts opened the floodgates of possibility and I now shop entire stores comfortably. As I write this, I a FAAB (female assigned at birth) and self-identified genderqueer am wearing garments that were marketed to both binary genders.
This genderqueer stuff is all pretty new to me but it’s also exciting (and scary, I’m not out to ANYONE IRL yet).
Padded panties/hips from siliconebody.com. They give one a totally female pelvis –rounded and curvy.
This “tank top” I got from Complex Geometries – It rides the edge between really long and dress length. Worn with tights and a drape-y jacket or cardigan it reads really feminine and dress-like. Worn with jeans and a structured jacket or vest, and it looks more androgynous. One of my nerdy SCA friends told me it reminded him of a Léine.